The best idea I’ve heard in a long time. The new Harkins SanTan Village 16 movie theater has opened today in Gilbert with built-in babysitters. It’s not the first time I’ve heard of this, as there has been a similar such thing in Chandler for a while now. But it’s a trend I hope more theaters and other businesses catch onto.Across the valley there are reasonably priced recreational centers with childcare available by the hour, Bashas’ grocery stores with their “cub houses” for easier shopping, and now this.

If I had any money to invest, I think my next step would be to open a beauty salon with the same. How often have you wanted to get your hair done during a weekday but couldn’t bring your children with you? The salons are packed to the gills on weeknights and weekends, but if you can manage a daytime appointment they’re always wide open. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could bring your little ones to a salon and drop them off for an hour to play with playdough and climb on a jungle gym while you help yourself to some pampering? Even the stylists themselves would appreciate the rise in business and better work hours.

Next stop: Dentist offices and restaurants that will feed your kids chicken nuggets in their own private playroom.

Once again, the news forces me to say something. Here’s the article I’m referring to, and please make sure to read the callous remarks made by those who would rather point fingers and call names than let the poor family of this man take one single day to grieve in peace. “Lawyer dies in early morning Gilbert crash”I wrote the following a few weeks ago after coming to the end of my rope with the lack of human decency in the world.

“I’d like to introduce the world to a little concept I like to call “The existence of other people”.

When I was a child I used to believe that I was the center of the universe. I knew in my heart that I was the reason the world was created and the rest of the humans were only put here to entertain me, feed me or provide for me. I was infallible. If I did something wrong, someone else should take the blame for me because after all, I was the most important being in the universe.

However, about the age of 7, I began to realize that there might be holes in my hypothesis. I started to notice that other people experienced pain, for one. I started to realize that other people had feelings and those feelings could be hurt if they were not cared for in the same ways that I expected my own feelings to be respected.

I’ll admit, this came to me as a complete shock at the time. But after a few years I eventually forgot about being the center of the universe and it became second nature to care about other people as I would expect them to care for me. Those of us who attended Sunday school remember this as “The Golden Rule”.

Most decent, loving people by the time they are 12 or 13 years old have come to fully understand that they are not the reason the world was created and turn their attentions toward fullfilling their own personal destinies while getting along with the rest of mankind.

However, there are many exceptions to this rule. Some human beings never figure out this little tidbit of information, and therefore go on believing that the rest of mankind is either out there to serve them or to just get in their way. The wife beaters, the serial killers, the guy in the Mercedes who cuts you off just to get one car length ahead in traffic. Obviously for some it’s a lifelong belief, and for others it’s just a momentary lapse in judgement.

But for the latter, it would help the rest of us if you kept one thing in mind before you forget that you aren’t the only one who’s running late, the only one who has plans today, or the only one not having a good day.

We’re all living in this busy, congested, over-scheduled world together. And if we all started treating each other like the offensive drivers, rude customers, and selfish jerks out there - who would want to live here anyway?

It’s the polite, friendly, helpful people of the world that make this life worth living together, not the jerks. We just put up with you when we absolutely have to. No one actually wants to talk to you, and no we do not owe you a smile while you’re giving us the finger.

So if you’ve been caught recently putting yourself and your wants so far ahead of anyone else’s, here is your chance to think twice. Think twice before you speed up in traffic just because the guy next to you did the right thing and put on his blinker before getting over into your lane. Think twice before you cancel on a friend at the last minute just because you couldn’t get your butt off the couch. Think twice before you cut ahead of that older gentleman in line at the grocery store just because you can walk faster. And in general, just think twice before you ruin a person’s day by being a selfish jerk.

It’s not a race to see who can finish fastest and own the most stuff. We’ll all get there in the end. It’s really a marathon for those who are trying live a good and decent life in this ever-increasingly nutty world.

Let’s make it the best life we can. Now play nice!”

Everyone speeds. We all know that. But judging by his friends it would be my guess that this man wouldn’t have spit on your graves had the tables been turned. I will pray for the family of Anthony Burgi tonight. They could use all the help they can get.

There’s an article in today’s paper that got me thinking about why I stay at home with my kids. You can read it here: Study links long-term daycare, aggression.I do agree that the children in my life, mine and others close to me, are generally good and gentle children. That’s a bit of a oxymoron, I realize - “gentle children”. But for the most part, the kids that I know are being raised by intelligent, caring people who know the importance of putting their children’s needs before their own, and it shows.

This does not necessarily mean the parents are staying at home however. Everyone’s lifestyles and plans are not the same, and every child’s needs are not the same. Some parents work because they have to. Some parents work because they realize they’re not cut out for at-home duty. I think we all stand back before we have children and explore our feelings about the subject.

In my case, I said “Ok, you can do this for a while. Not forever! But for a while.” My husband works while I stay home and make babysitting money. We don’t go on many vacations, and we watch for sales at the grocery store. It’s tough at times, but it’s also temporary. In just a few years my kids will be in school full-time and my life will almost return to normal. As it is I’ve been home for 4 years and so far so good. Some days are pure survival, I’m not going to lie to you. But the days that go well, that we have fun, that we get through to the end and we feel like we can sleep well - those are the days when I fully understand why I do what I do. And I believe in my heart that I’m doing the right thing for my children.

On the other side are those parents that work because they have to or just prefer to. In most of these cases they find a friend, family member or affordable daycare (another oxy-moron) for their small ones. If you’re lucky, these providers will raise your children as their own. They will read to them, cuddle them and get down on their level to play.

But if you’re not lucky or not paying attention- and we’ve all seen this too - your children could just be 1 of 20 in a room full of screaming, angry children. These are the children who don’t hear a kind word all day. These are the children who are surrounded by mayhem 45 hours a week. And many of these are the children who become problem kids in elementary school and have a harder time scholastically. Is it then the provider’s fault, are they just so overworked and burnt out that they can’t do better? Or is it our fault because we’ve chosen to earn more money and spend less time. Again, that’s a case-by-case issue and it’s up to you to figure out yours.

The number of children in daycare is astounding. More and more of our kids are being raised by strangers. Think back to your childhood for a second. Was someone home with you, or did you spend your important early years in a crib hotel? Did you have a backyard that you spent hours entertaining yourself in? Well I did. And I feel like I owe it to my kids to let them have the same. They’ll be gone in no time anyway.

Look your child in the eye today. Are you doing the best thing for them?

My daughter has been sick for days. No, don’t feel sorry for her. It hasn’t slowed her down a bit. But she’s got a cold and a cough and it’s been hanging on for what seems like months. Even though her nose is running, she’s coughing like crazy and she ran a fever all weekend, she’s still the cutest little sick person you’ve ever seen. She’s only three and she already realizes that she can get Mommy to do just about anything with a sniffle and a smile.Anyway, we could have handled the cold, but her fever brought us to the doctor this morning.

Going to the doctor is always a test of your parenting skills in one way or another. It’s a constant guessing game of whether your child is really sick enough to go; and we’ve all found out the hard way that it’s either a little embarrassing or a little frustrating when the doctor sends you home with only a pat and a smile. Doctors must see a hundred of us a day, and who knows how many are turned away empty handed. We all file into the little cold rooms with our sniffling children, secretly hoping for an ear infection so that we can win that prize of all prizes: the antibiotic prescription.

It used to be that antibiotics were handed out like candy. Got a sniffle? Here’s some Amoxicillin. Sore throat? Take a teaspoon of this every night before bed, and you’ll be good as new. But then they started having to dole out stronger and stronger medications to kill off the super-viruses that were evolving due to over-medicating the small stuff. Now it seems only two things can get you the antibiotic prize: an ear infection or strep throat. Neither are fun for your child of course, but without them the common cold and cough has to run it’s own course.

I bring you back to this Friday. We’ve all taken our kids to the doctor on a Friday, “just in case” their cold was about to hit full tilt over the weekend. (I know this because I’ve seen the rest of you in the waiting room). I bring my daughter in on this particular Friday and we are assigned to the grumpy doctor. Apparently she’s seen too many of us “just in casers” already this morning, and it’s only 9:30. She glances in Emma’s ears, nose and throat and proceeds to say those five most dreaded words a worried mother can hear. “It’s just a head cold.”

I know, I know, I’m supposed to be relieved that Emma’s not in terrible pain and it’s a simple problem of too much mucus. But that means no relief in sight for another two weeks, and my mother’s instinct is telling me I just came one day too early. And I hate to say it, (well no I don’t), I was right.

Saturday it hit. Fever of 102, fussiness, loss of appetite and lethargy join the mix.  But now it’s Saturday night, and tomorrow’s Sunday.  This is not worth a trip to Urgent Care, but it does mean that Emma will feel awful until at least Tuesday.  Several doses of Motrin later, we’re back at the doctor’s office and I’m paying my $25 copay (again!) for the same cold she had three days ago.

But this time we hit the jackpot.  “Raging ear infection”, says the good doctor.  This is the nice one that I prefer to see everytime I come, but I must not be the only one because he’s also the busiest.  He proceeds to hand me my winning lottery ticket, a prescription for the tough stuff.  Smug in my victory I drag both of my kids into Target to get it filled; and then the other shoe drops.

“$67.”, the pharmacist says.

“67?!”, I say.  “Are we fixing an ear infection or sedating her with fine aged cognac?”

He shrugs his shoulders.  Mmm, helpful.

One call to my doctor later, the prescription for liquid gold is changed to an overwhelmingly cheaper version.  Finally, Emma is on her way to recovery, and Mom breathes a giant sigh of relief.

And then, not moments from returning home from the pharmacy, the inevitable happens.  My son is burning up.

Hello! My name is Mommy. Well that’s not my real first name, I just can’t remember what it is right now. You see, I have two preschoolers and I babysit a third full time. “This woman must be insane!”, you say? No, I promise you I’m merely one of a billion other formerly intelligent, lovely people who temporarily lost their minds and decided to give this mothering thing a try. That may have been my first mistake.Don’t get me wrong, I love my children more than life itself. I would gladly throw myself in front of a bus for them should the need arise. But lately I’ve been thinking the bus might sound preferable to the idea of spending the rest of my life at home alone with them. My friends with older children all smile and nod their heads. “Yes Katie, this too shall pass. They will get older and things will get easier.”

Sure. I’ve been hearing that same milarky since my oldest was born. And then came along number two and now suddenly there are three small children in my house. I think they’re starting to realize that they outnumber me. At some point in the near future the three of them together will outweigh me, and then what power shall I wield at all? They’re quick, and they’re smart, and they know all of my weaknesses.

Mainly, I’d say it’s the noise. It was on television recently that a person can withstand a certain amount of chaos without it taking too much of a toll, UNLESS the chaos is then accompanied with a high level of noise. Well someone must have come over and explained that to my kids - because they certainly can turn this mother into a quivering disaster in no time flat.

And second, it’s the mess. I’m not talking about socks on the floor, dishes in the sink kind of mess. I’m talking about shredding an entire roll of ribbon throughout the house while emptying the refrigerator and playing with play dough on your rug kind of mess. Messes that take seconds to make, hours to clean-up and keep Mommy busy while they go in the other room to start over.

We’ve all heard it said that being a mother is the toughest job in the world. Well that’s probably true. It’s the only job where you put in 20 years of hard work and you don’t even get to know if you’ve done a good job until they’re fully grown. But it comes with the greatest benefits of any job too. A million tiny kisses, a thousand autographed pictures, and a hundred thousand “I love you, Mom’s” make it all worthwhile in the end.

I just hope they make it that far.