There’s an article in today’s paper that got me thinking about why I stay at home with my kids. You can read it here: Study links long-term daycare, aggression.I do agree that the children in my life, mine and others close to me, are generally good and gentle children. That’s a bit of a oxymoron, I realize - “gentle children”. But for the most part, the kids that I know are being raised by intelligent, caring people who know the importance of putting their children’s needs before their own, and it shows.
This does not necessarily mean the parents are staying at home however. Everyone’s lifestyles and plans are not the same, and every child’s needs are not the same. Some parents work because they have to. Some parents work because they realize they’re not cut out for at-home duty. I think we all stand back before we have children and explore our feelings about the subject.
In my case, I said “Ok, you can do this for a while. Not forever! But for a while.” My husband works while I stay home and make babysitting money. We don’t go on many vacations, and we watch for sales at the grocery store. It’s tough at times, but it’s also temporary. In just a few years my kids will be in school full-time and my life will almost return to normal. As it is I’ve been home for 4 years and so far so good. Some days are pure survival, I’m not going to lie to you. But the days that go well, that we have fun, that we get through to the end and we feel like we can sleep well - those are the days when I fully understand why I do what I do. And I believe in my heart that I’m doing the right thing for my children.
On the other side are those parents that work because they have to or just prefer to. In most of these cases they find a friend, family member or affordable daycare (another oxy-moron) for their small ones. If you’re lucky, these providers will raise your children as their own. They will read to them, cuddle them and get down on their level to play.
But if you’re not lucky or not paying attention- and we’ve all seen this too - your children could just be 1 of 20 in a room full of screaming, angry children. These are the children who don’t hear a kind word all day. These are the children who are surrounded by mayhem 45 hours a week. And many of these are the children who become problem kids in elementary school and have a harder time scholastically. Is it then the provider’s fault, are they just so overworked and burnt out that they can’t do better? Or is it our fault because we’ve chosen to earn more money and spend less time. Again, that’s a case-by-case issue and it’s up to you to figure out yours.
The number of children in daycare is astounding. More and more of our kids are being raised by strangers. Think back to your childhood for a second. Was someone home with you, or did you spend your important early years in a crib hotel? Did you have a backyard that you spent hours entertaining yourself in? Well I did. And I feel like I owe it to my kids to let them have the same. They’ll be gone in no time anyway.
Look your child in the eye today. Are you doing the best thing for them?
I am so glad you are a part of our community. Kids need you. Together we can make a better world for our kids and the kids of this world. Thanks for being willing to dive into the pool of childcare. Good and bad. We will strive to be only the good. thanks!