My kids are still pretty small, so I need to consult with a mother of older children. Does something happen in the course of raising your kids that after they reach a certain age you just give up on the basic teachings of turn-taking, rule-following and general kindness toward others?Perhaps it’s foolish, but I assumed that after working constantly on these traits with my kids for the first, I don’t know, 8 years of their lives that they’d be so versed in common courtesy I would barely need to mention it anymore. Because you go out into the world and the only parents you actually see pushing these virtues are the mothers and fathers of the preschool set.
The problem is the older children I run into are often (but not always) so impatient, pushy and rude that it makes me wonder if we aren’t giving up too early on their training. Maybe it takes 13 years to get it right. Maybe it’s more.
Is it laziness or is it carelessness that once our children are no longer tiny we stop worrying about the other small children around us? Because you walk into a playground or a mixed aged environment and the big kids are literally running over the small ones. Hardly ever does a mom even watch their children at a park anymore if that child is over 8, much less scold them for running down a two-year-old. But the preschool moms are always out in force, watching each others kids like hawks and stepping in even when their own child was not involved.
Something must happen after a child turns 8. Our perceived notion of “duty” is over, and they’ve been raised as good as they’re going to get. Well it’s not good enough.
If your child is running down my child and you aren’t watching, I’m going to say something to them. And then I might say something to you - if I can find you. I’ll be nice about it, for sure. There’s no reason to get angry about these things. But please watch your own children so that I don’t have to?
It takes a village to raise a child - but you’re supposed to be helping.
