Do you ever feel like I do, that we are treated differently because of the various cars we drive? I don’t mean in the obvious fashion, like a red Ferrari who gets pulled over for speeding even when it’s standing still. No, I mean in much more subtle ways. I mean like how everyone on the road expects that my minivan will never reach 45 mph and they make sure to pass me as soon as they see me on the road.I think it’s the little sticker family on the back of my van honestly. I think they are back there waving people on. “Go ahead, Mr. Audi. If you ever want to get to work, you’d better just pass us now.”
But the truth is that I’m just as likely to be going seven over the speed limit as the businessman next to me. My minivan is a V-6, baby. I’m not lolly-gagging around the roads here. I’ve got school and work and errands to get done. But it doesn’t matter. I’ve been branded slow and in the way by virtue of minivan default.
This phenomena also does not help when other cars feel safe to pull right out in front of me on an everyday basis. It’s a good thing children have to be buckled in nowadays, or they would have more bruises from mommy slamming on the brakes than playing on the playground.
To be fair, it’s not just me. I’ve seen teenagers labeled reckless, old people forced off the road and landscapers disgraced for having too much loose junk in the back of their trucks. Well really, who else is going to haul your yard clippings away? Are you going to do it in your BMW? I didn’t think so.
And to be honest, I’m not entirely innocent either. However I’m more of a bumper sticker judge than a vehicle snob. If you’ve got naked ladies on your car, I’ve lost all respect for you already. If you have an advertisement for your own small business, I give you kudos for getting out there and making something happen for yourself. If you’re a Christian with a Jesus fish on your Oldsmobile, I’m proud that you can display your beliefs to the public. And if you’ve got a military emblem anywhere, I’ll gladly give you the right of way.
Even if I don’t approve of what you’ve got on your car, I won’t hold it against you. Much. But already having the minivan bulls-eye on myself, I am wary of adding any extra ornamentation of my own. I shudder to think what will happen when someone finally gives me that inevitable “Mom’s Taxi” license plate cover.
Maybe the problem is that you are only going seven mph over the limit. We all know that 11 mph over is the cutoff. 75.5 mph in a 65 is where it’s at, and when the HWY patrol cruises past you going 80-85 in the HOV lane, just get behind them and tag along.
And what’s wrong with Audi’s?
Well I heard that 9 mph over was the cut-off. My recently pulled-over friend told me that her ticketing officer gave her the higher priced ticket because she had gone over that magic number of 9. They can ticket you for going over even 1 mph, but it gets more expensive over 9.
I had to pick on somebody, didn’t I?
I hate any and all bumper stickers and window stickers….they ruin the look of any vehicle, imho…………….and I also lose all respect for anyone with naked people, profanity, or rubber testicles on their ride.