photo by photospin

In the last year I’ve really made an effort to take a deep breath before dealing with an undesirable situation with my kids - be it talking back, not listening, refusing a request or battling nap time. I admit, I have yelled in the past. I even spanked. But then the kids starting yelling back. And I’ve not spanked them in I don’t know how long.

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My friends and I share stories of our kids that often take this tone: We’ve compared first foods, first steps, first words. As they’ve gotten older, we’ve talked about work in school, play choices and nighttime routines.

My 3-year-old daughter has them all in this category. Because so far, no one else’s kid says these words at night: “Mommy, I want to hold your ear.”

I just giggle thinking of it. And each night, our routine goes something like this: We read a book, snuggle in bed and face each others. She takes both hands and grabs my ear lobes and gently falls asleep.

Within a few short minutes she rolls on her back and lets go of one hand, but the other is firmly on my ear, at least until she enters deeper sleep and I can move.

It started a few months ago. She does this when she’s tired, distressed, waking up or scared. She does it to mommy and daddy and grandparents. I’ve even seen her reach over to her sleeping older brother and grab his ear as she’s snuggled next to him to fall back asleep (as long as he’s asleep, he doesn’t seem to mind). She’s also done it to teachers at daycare.

Some kids take a binkie (my daughter never did) or a bottle (nope, not that either) or even as they get older a stuffed animal (very rare for her).

My daughter just needs mom’s ear lobe.

A friend recently visited the Phoenix Art Museum – with kids! And they enjoyed it! This summer, as we all struggle with high gas prices and high grocery bills, check out all the FREE stuff to do around the Valley (find out about regular hours and prices in Get Out on Thursdays or our Events Calendar).Free free to e-mail or add comments about places I’ve missed.

Phoenix Art Museum, free Tuesdays after 3 p.m. Scottsdale Art Walk, 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Thursdays. Many galleries open their doors. Main Street and Marshall WayMesa Contemporary Arts, free on Thursdays

It’s taken me two attempts, but I’ve made the realization: You can’t do house painting with little ones.

My first attempt was a few weeks ago when my son and daughter wanted to help me paint the office. I obliged, handing them small paint brushes. But I didn’t just let them go. I should have, but I didn’t. Instead, I reminded them time and time again not to dip the brush too much into the paint, to watch how they swung the brush onto the wall and do try and keep it off their clothes. But when my son accidentally put paint onto an electric outlook I forgot to cover, I loudly yelled his name and “Wait!” He was upset, she was upset. I was called a “mean mommy” (for the 12^th time that week) and daddy had to smooth the waters.

I really wanted them to do it with me, but I didn’t prep the area like I should have for little ones (3 and 5) to be involved.

So the next two times I painted, I did it in the late hours of the night when everyone was asleep.

Except for yesterday. Again, hoping to finish the room finally, I took paint to brush in the morning. My daughter came in and talked with me for awhile but finally asked, “Can I help?” After saying “no” several times, I finally relented and gave her a small brush. She actually did great; until coming off the ladder I told her not to get on in the first place she knocked over the paint can. I didn’t yell at all. In fact, I apologized that I had forgotten to put the lid on (there wasn’t much paint left and I did have drop clothes down so no damage done). But my daughter was upset that she had done this and ran from the room.

I told her over and over again it wasn’t her fault, I wasn’t mad and I was sorry I had forgotten to cover it. But she was upset with herself or me or I don’t know what. She cried for several minutes, then finally calmed herself and came back to help me finish.

I think I’ll return to night painting; or putting up paper on an easel next time I try it with the kids.