I think Women’s Lib went wrong somewhere down the line.  Somewhere down the road, women decided that they’d like to be treated equally to men - with the rights to vote, hold down decent jobs and to choose their own path.  All good and decent ideals.  However along the way, and I don’t know who to blame, something went awry.  In order to receive these rights, women thought they had to become just like men.  We started opening our own doors, going dutch for the check on dates, opening our own pickle jars, etc.  We felt we had to give up all of the perks that came with being a female in order for men to take us seriously.  And it worked, in a way.  We can now run for President, earn our own living, and pay our own way.  Which is a smart place to be, if we ever end up alone.  But therein lies the rub.

We didn’t have to become men to be equal to men.  Fundamentally, we were already equal.  Different, of course.  But equal in the ways that matter.  We are just as smart, and just as capable as men, yes.  Are we weaker physically?  Sure, most of us.  But that’s what makes us attractive to you, like your strength makes you attractive to us.  It’s the differences that keep us interested in the other.  Would a man who is not a homosexual be attracted to a woman who is physically matched to him?  Why would he be?  What would be the point.

Do women deserve to have their cake (their equal rights) and eat it too (their feminine perks)?  I’ve always thought so.  And not because I’m a woman and doesn’t that work out nicely for me.  But because it’s the way the women closest to me have been handled.  My mother and her sisters are all prime examples of what I mean.  They all had jobs, children, families, and homes.  They were all intelligent, independent and yet definitively female.  Their respective husbands appreciated their ability and desire to work outside of the home, but no woman seemed to absolutely have to.  Their husbands all allowed their wives to be themselves, and none seemed to battle with their gender roles like you see nowadays.

The men I’m speaking of played their roles as fathers well.  They were stronger, they were the disciplinarians, they were the back-up.  Mom was in charge, but she had Dad on her side to lean on, and as an outsider looking in you always had the impression that parental discussions happened behind closed doors frequently and amicably.  This is what I expect marriage and parenthood to be.  Mom and Dad make the rules together, Mom deals with most of the daily issues and Dad gets involved when he needs to.  It’s not that Dad isn’t capable of the daily stuff, or that Mom isn’t capable of discipline.  It’s just simply that it’s less confusing when children know what to expect from whom.

So do I want to be treated like a woman, or like a human?  I think that’s the basic point of this discussion.  The answer is yes.  I am both.  I am equal to a man, and yet not the same as a man.  I like when you open my doors.  I like when you buy my dinner.  Not because I can’t, but because it’s just a nice way to be treated.  And I want my daughter to grow up thinking that she should be treated the same.  I have my jobs as a woman as well.  And I hope I do them and can continue to do them well enough to make and keep my man happy.

Because that is my most important job.  And in that way we men and women are exactly, uniquely, equal.